Saturday, April 17, 2010
THIS IS ME ;)
hurhur. ;D
hello!
it's been really long since i typed my heart out.
but i really feel like doing it right now.
there's too much stuff in my head,
and i don't know what to do with them.
ha. i'm trying my best to be as 'transparent' as possible.
i hate keeping things inside.
and act mysterious or whatsoever.
yeah. i guess this is the only way people can like me for who i am.
and perhaps dislike me if they choose to. hoho~
c'mon, we're not kids, so let's face this. :)
though it's not like i've met anyone who hates me,
and i gotta face it. >.<"
yea, many things happened~
okay, not that many, cos i could actually count.
but anw i think some serious decisions were made!
:) okay i'm sort of happy this way.
though i still feel like it's a pity.
the worst part was when i was..
looking at SeoHyun's, Jinwoon's, Minho's, Key's
and some others' grads video,
& knowing how smart Onew actually is.
i feel so sad. 'cos there's no way
i could prove that i could make it anymore.
I REALLY REALLY LOVE SCHOOL-LIFE!!
and i actually dreamt of going to uni somewhere
(definitely not singapore's) XD!
ha. okay, not a serious dream though.
just really envy those ~~~~
but i really have been trying very hard.
really. and made improvement. ;)
and it's like i'm gonna make it there soon~
but still i choose to give up.
it's just so not meaningful.
yes, MEANINGLESS.
and it's sooo awful..
put in my best effort for something so meaningless.
aigoo~
okay, so this is it.
i know many things gonna keep coming.
and i know it's not gonna be the last time,
i'm talking about it.
Yea, I've quit school.
yea i know that my parents sort of agreed
'cos this whole exam and school thing is hurting my health.
but i know God heals,
and it's not a problem.
but i know my mum actually supports me!
that's why i totally love her.
she's not just any mum.
& my buddies out there who really understands,
million thanks! :)
especially Diane who's been there to talk to me,
and pray for me.
THANK YOU!
i really wanna find joy in what i'm going to do.
though i can't see myself doing well.
but i have faith. :)
i have many deams.
and they are not practical deams.
but still, they are more or less related.
ha! seriously, i don't know how
to have THAT much faith
to believe i could achieve my dreams.
but yea, i'm still trying everyday.
and i can't achieve these dreams alone.
so yea,
what to do.
just do my best, wait & see. :)
LOVE OUT LOUD!
★ starred at
2:26 AM
